Historically I was afraid I wouldn’t have support when I needed it, that I’d be on my own. I’d only ask for help if I were desperate. Which meant that, for me, help was only for the big stuff! Then one day came an ‘aha’ moment in which the Universe taught me I could “have” something not so big, even when I had no faith in the outcome at all.
Someone gave us an unwanted hermit crab when our daughter was small. I regretted it almost immediately. Hermit crabs in Colorado are set up for failure; they need consistent humidity and temperatures within a narrow range and that was a much bigger commitment than I was prepared for. As I researched how to best care for “Jerry”, I also found out hermit crabs are very social. I’d gotten into something I knew wasn’t going to work, so I resisted getting him a friend. I did my best to make Jerry’s environment humid; I gave him interesting things to eat and climb on. He moved around, which seemed encouraging, and he loved the special treats that I provided.
Time passed and I felt awful every time I saw him. I couldn’t imagine someone else wanting to adopt a single hermit crab and there was the asking for help problem, so I focused on how I’d said yes when I should have said no. Jerry was very patient. I often felt that he had a great sense of humor too, but maybe it was just that his little eyes were on the ends of stalks. He clacked sometimes when he moved. I genuinely sensed that he didn’t want me to be sad about him. He was very cute.
One day, I found myself on Craig’s List. I’d become a little desperate and thought I’d make an apologetic plea for help,but somewhere in the bowels of the pet category I stumbled on something remarkable: a person in search of hermit crabs to rescue. I read it again; it couldn’t be real. The woman had a beautiful tank, all set up with crab enrichment and some serious climate control, but she only had two crabs of her own. Clearly, this woman needed our help!
In short order we packed up Jerry’s meager belongings and drove to her home. When we arrived we found that the woman had a PhD in ‘something-something biology’ and was a writer for Science Friday on public radio. She introduced us to her crabs. They radiated contentment in a huge tank filled with sand and lots of branches and rocks for sitting and climbing. A buffet of interesting foods and fresh water in seashell dishes sat in a corner. Gauges and thermometers assured me the tank was performing exactly as recommended. Everything was spotlessly clean; the woman and her husband had excellent manners.
It wasn’t just an answer to my problem, it was the mother of all answers. The woman was grounded and kind, and she was partnered with a man who appeared to find the welfare of hermit crabs as interesting as she did. We accepted her thank-you gift of a large jar of homemade dill pickles and floated through her sensible home in a stupor; we were able to relocate Jerry into the perfect situation, yet she felt she owed us.
Periodically we’d receive updates about Jerry. She sent pictures of him with his new best friend. We learned that everyday they trundled around together and sat side by side on branches and rocks. They ate together, they slept together. Jerry had forgotten us entirely and it was fantastic! This went on for a year or two and then I didn’t hear from her again. Maybe he died, maybe she was but a figment of the Universal imagination. Our story together had come to an end.
We teach all about havingness, or the ability to receive something you want or need. But I marvel that I received something I didn’t think was possible! I couldn’t imagine that Jerry would be welcome somewhere else; I didn’t believe I could ask for help. But yet some part of me created and then called in the solution, even when I was in my own way.
Think: how would you conduct yourself if you thought that something was listening to those subconscious desires, that itloved and supported you and was already working on the solution? We teach it like a game: look at your havingness for something that’s not so big, like a new sweater or being taken out to dinner. Then, when it gets bigger and more critical, you have the experience to know you can create a new job or a new place to live, or the help that you need that might otherwise seem out of reach.
If you want to learn more, check out our How To Heal Yourself class! For those of you already familiar with our tools, this is your reminder to play with your havingness. Use your gauges, blow up the energy that gets in your way—even if you don’t know what it is! The universe is waiting to co-create with you and there’s never been a better time to practice.
Blessings to you all!
Rt. Rev. Katie Heldman is the Co-Director of Psychic Horizons Center, and wrote this article for the September 5th, 2022 eNews.